I bring you a model trained on ~1.000 photos of amateur pornography. The horrors I've seen... terrible lighting straight out of a 1960s B-movie. Angles even the Dutch would be ashamed of. Skin more wrinkled than your gramps' nut-sack. I've seen it all.

Amateur pornography is where dreams of eroticism go to die under the unforgiving blaze of a cheap camera flash. Why does every photo look like it was taken in a haunted house tour? Is it sexy, or are we trying to summon Cthulhu here? That glaring, harsh flash has all the subtlety of a SWAT team raid. A strategic beam of light that not only washes out every little detail but also turns human skin into something resembling microwaved chicken.

Artistic angles? Fuggedaboutit. She's either shot from below like a demon doll or from above like we're checking her scalp for lice—except less sexy... way less sexy.
And don't even get me started on the composition. You think they've ever heard of the rule of thirds? Hell, they haven't even heard of moving the filthy laundry pile out of the frame.

The things we do for a little Buzz, eh?